Part two of the week long mini series, “Week Uno”
So when I set out to do this whole thing, I didn’t only want to accomplish a physical goal, I was also looking to meet emotional and spiritual goals as well.
Now, I’m not out to find Christ or Budda or reach spiritual enlightenment ( Lord knows I have the rest of forever to do that ). I’m just trying to do things that feel better for my soul and give me those feel good feels
So, what’s this story without a small back story????
**que the Van Halen for the musical montage blast to the past**
I’ve briefly touched on my previous marrige and divorce in prior writings. And we all know how those things go… Not so well.
In particular, not so well for a stubborn dumb ass such as myself.
Not going to lie, I was the one who threw the gigantic boulder of selfish and egotistic actions and emotions into my then family’s precious sea and created the ripple effects that are still lasting to this day almost 10 years later.
When the actual divorce happened, I was so enraged and so emotionally ignorant that I refused to look at myself and honestly refused to just grow the fuck up.
So I handled the divorce like any other moron with a stick would…
I went on a stupendously stupid rampage and cut off all lines of communication with my ex-wife. The mother of my two baby girls.
It got so fucking stupid on my side that one time she actually bought me some groceries for the kids and dropped them off at my house and guess what I went and did?
Threw it all away.
It’s fucking embarrassing.
I can continue for days and days and days of just how embarrassingly immature I was for almost 10 years but I’m actually trying to rebuild my dignity at this point in my life.
But you get the picture.
REAL STUPID MAN.
Starts growing up.
Now we are up to speed. My exwife and I have both moved on and both have remarried. But still have those damn kids in both of our lives. And not just our lives but the lives of our partners too.
And my partner, my beautiful wife is an amazing woman who has taken my little girls in as her own and they absolutely adore her as well.
Her partner, a hard working man and member of the U.S Navy does the very same for my little girls and his wife.
Sounds great, right?
Well, ever since the divorce, ALL FOUR OF US HAVE NEVER CAME FACE TO FACE AND TALKED.
And I’m not talking about talking, like chit chat talking, I am talking about serious parental issues that we all where long over due on talking about.
I mean, it was a few years ago that I did see some type of light and something finally clicked for me and I finally opened the door to manhood and opened the lines of communication with my ex-wife.
But it was never a face to face conversation or anything along the lines of the greater picture for our girls and it was never with the other halves of our lives.
I’ve always known that it would be substantially beneficial for us to all sit down and talk.
Especially with the young little terror that is our youngest daughter.
But it was just a hard pill to swallow.
That grown up bullshit is for the birds, man.
But honestly, there where so many things involved outside and long after just the divorce.
It’s the history between me and her husband, their marriage issues, my marriage issues, all of our personal issues and the black hole that exist in all our minds that sucks in every single thought imaginable and just meshes them all up to the most outlandish results possible.
But inside of that black hole was Sunday night.
I had been telling my wife about sitting down with my ex and her husband for the last few weeks already. Letting her know the long term importance of peace branch and unification of both our families. And we talked about all of our concerns and topics we wanted to discuss with them and what not.
So, last friday, I called my ex-wife and told her that we wanted to sit down and talk with them, but first I wanted to talk to her husband by ourselves ( we have never actually talked outside of some ugly situations where we’ve both done and said some ignorant things ). She had agreed and he called me.
The conversation was great. It was a great relief to finally get that negativity out of my heart and off of my shoulders. We both stated our peace and touched on parental goals, even had a few laughs and set up the Sunday night sit-down.
Saturday morning my wife and I sat down and had our own talk about the up coming Sunday night and just went over our concerns and what not and made sure we were both on the same page and both made sure to watch out for oursleves to not get negative in the situation we were in.
I wasn’t stressed about the situation whatsoever. I ate and partied like a unsupervised pig and had a great weekend. So when it was time to wrap things up and sit down with them, I was chill as fuck.
It was time to enter that black hole of thoughts and emotions.
I took a breath, had my wife by my side. Then shook my ex wife’s husbands hand, then my ex wife’s hand and we all talked like some grown ass adults.
It was honestly amazing. This growing up thing is pretty fucking dope. We got on the same page about some parental things, we established those parental goals and walked away feeling like we were actually getting somewhere in life.
And this laid down the vital foundation for not only my well being, but also my little girls well beings as well.
We showed them that WE ARE ADULTS and we all have our flaws but we are all working together and working to get through those flaws.
And that they have one huge family to come home to, not two separate side they have to choose from.
Thanks for reading.