So, back to yesterday, ok, lets go back a little further.
Real quick, no father, mother was a drunk, grew up rough and fast, a lost boy jumping into a mans situation, a federal conviction, the divorce, strange times, the climb out of the grave, a good health scare, THEE PODCAST, a dream to do something great, a 3 am reckoning, our New Orleans fairytale, fast times with my family of pugs and that brings us to today.
Good, we have so much time and such little to see.
When I started this blog, almost 2 years ago, my plan was to encourage and motivate men through my story and values I have gained through going through the trenches of life and also journal my path to a 2017 Spartan Race.
Bbbbuuuuttttt…. procrastination is quite the mother fucker, aint it?
Not only, procrastination, but the dabble of self loathing, youtube, the soulfully unfulfilling 70 hour work week, the kids, the four legged kids, HEB, the married life of two people who know how and love to cook and drink.
You know… life, bitch.
But this is not about how much I hate life and how badly I regret all of my life decisions, it is sssoooo far from that.
I know I’m not in the best place of my life and I don’t really know if this is some kind of midlife crisis where I am about to sell my house to totally go financially balls deep in a market that I have no idea about, shave my back, buy a fedora and start referring to myself LeJon.
But I do know that I am not in a horrible place.
I am not the mental train wreck I was a few years ago, I can still toss beer kegs with the best of them, I pray and meditate daily, I have a paid Audible subscription and I eat pizza and drink beer every Friday at the boujie HEB down by Southtown.
Not to mention, my wife is insanely beautiful and has been into her own podcast and self development kick, my kids aren’t complete assholes (they say, “thank you” and mean it, plus they help with the yard), I’m seven years from paying off my mortgage and two healthy yet terribly stinky dogs.
But at the same time, I also see my short comings and the vastly incredible room for improvement.
Hi, my name is Jonathan, I’m overweight and happy, I make enough money to NOT qualify for food stamps but not enough money to splurge at Target for the fancy towels and febreze air fresheners… So when I do, I call that shit in as fraudulent spending real quick.
Note to the wise, that trick only works about every 6 months and don’t go over 500 bucks. Stay classy.
What this all boils down to, is that I am just another human being in this beach of life trying to find my spot, just like everyone else.
I just want to be a lot more open about it and show you that you don’t have to always been Pep-ey fucking Positive and have all kinds of money to get where you want to go.
You just have to have a will to get shit done.
So, here it is, October 17th 2018, I am currently tipping the scales at 219 pounds, I have 5 dollars and 94 cents in the bank, my marriage is better than average but I know it could be amazing, I am behind on my cable bill and questioning what and where I want to go in life.
So now that I have defined the problem of situation, I also have the solution.
Giving it my best, every mother fucking day.
I am committing the next 7 months of my life and hopefully developing this commitment as a lifelong one to striving for greatness or something close to it…
Look man, I just wanna look decent naked, have enough money to shop at Target and run the Spartan Race in May.
SO MY EXACT COMMITMENTS ARE.
- Be the very best of myself to myself.
Meaning I will constantly work on my inner dialogue, listen to more audible books and podcast (such as Order of Man and the Aubrey Marcus Podcast) and develop a deeper and more personal relationship with the Greater power that is.
- The dieting hoopla.
Look, I have never been one to limit or cut things out of my diet, but as I grow older and more wiser. I completely understand it’s importance and do acknowledge that this will be the hardest part for me. I’ve been doing intermittent fasting for the past two months and it works for me with relative ease. But as far as the food that I do eat when I eat… I am a rabid raccoon that has broken into your fridge, stuffing anything and everything in my mouth, mess with me and I WILL CUT YOU. So again, that is something I will struggle terribly with but I am up for the challenge and will be keeping track of what I eat with a food diary.
So, I’m just winging the diet at this point and will be tweaking as I go along.
I am a beer delivery driver, no problem getting swamp ass and sweaty. But I will be focusing on The Onnit 6 program, getting some simple cardio in, running around the block and just doing some basic fun shit to keep my heart pumping like playing basketball, swimming and running around with my kids and dogs.
That’s about right.
But seriously, I’ve been on Youtube and listening to different podcast about finances and actually trying to grow wealth and investing in myself. So again, this is more like the dieting part for me and I will learn as I go while giving out tips that work for me.
As a father to two beautiful little girls from my previous marriage, it’s not the most ideal situation but we all own it.
“Omwana taba womoi”
Which means that a child does not belong to one parent or home, in other words, It takes a village to raise a child and we all work on being good for the greater good of our kids.
As far as I go personally, I’m working on better communication with my kids and being the role model that I wish I had when I was growing up.
And being the daddy pug of the house, just trying to make sure my dogs stay loved, bathed, fed and walked.
- My Marriage
Lastly but obviously my most important. My marriage. I love the fuck out of my wife. I mean, sometimes I don’t want to talk to her, but I couldn’t imagine a day without holding that woman close. Words could honestly never amount to how much she means to me. We currently listen to the Rise Together Podcast and on this current date of 10-16 we are discussing their 90 day marriage challenge and have been discussing making our own podcast or youtube channel. At the end of the day, I want to be the best man for not only myself but for my wife. I want her to be a proud wife of a strong husband.
- The follow through
To wrap up this commitment part, is the beautiful bow that is the follow through. I will blog my thoughts, my successes, fuck load of defeats and hard times and anything and everything in between every week up to the May 2019 Spartan Race in Austin. Just to track the results for myself and hopefully give someone out there that spark that my friend and spiritual brother gave me yesterday.
And to let you know, you can do this shit too, no matter where you are in life.
Buckle up, buttercup.