F.w.T.P

Fun With The Police

So with all this police b.s going on as of late, I want to share a situation I had with San Antonio’s finest and also what I feel is wrong with the system and how we can change it.

MEDITATION. 

Rowdy forshadowing.

So, this goes back to when I was going through my divorce, a very hard time in life, which is probably a fucking understatement if I ever made one. Anyways, I would pass the lonely nights and frustration of my mistakes at the park. Running laps, playing basketball, just walking around and minding my own business. 

I would love to go late at night, when I would have all the things that needed to be done, done. And we all know that this south texas weather isn’t any fucking joke and all times of the day. So it was a lot more tolerable in the late hours of the night and I was just a night owl. 

But on the this one lovely night, I was out running around on the track and in the dark. Yes, I was in a oversized pullover sweater and I do have face tattoos and plenty more highly visible ones too. But back to that night, as I was running, AT A STUPID DUMB SLOW RATE TOO, I wouldnt even know if you could consider it running. Imagine, throwing a dog in a pool and the dog can’t swim and has never dog paddled before.

Got a visual? 

Good.

That’s how I run. So I am out there, running and SAPD pulls up on me HARD.

H-A-R-D.

HARD, I am talking sirens, lights, car jumping the curb and his gun drawn out e todo.

“HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM” the officer shouted.

I keep my cool and raise my hands and pull out my headphones from my ears.

“DOWN ON THE GROUND!” he shouted again.

At this point, I am a little freaked out and have the overall sense of “this fucking puto”. I am just minding my own and running off some fucking steam and he rolls up on me like I murdered someone.

But I still do what the cop says and he comes over to pad me down and pull the hoodie off my head.

“got any weapons or drugs on you?’ 

I am in a GAP sweater and some shorts, holding on to my wallet and my phone, so i just respond with a simple, “nah”.

“what are you doing out here?”

“selling drugs?”

“robbing someone?”

“what gang are you in?”

All questions he asked me when he was padding me down. Now keep in mind, this was long before I discovered the patience of meditation and the wonders of holding my fucking tongue. And again, the whole divorce thing too. So I answered with a bit of smugness, “I have a heart tattooed on my fucking throat”.

Ever watch that skit on the Chappelle Show, When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong?

Well, this didn’t get that extreme, but it sure did raise the tension in a already horrible situation. 

That’s when he cuffed me.

“oh, you want to mouth off, huh?”

“sit down right here and lets find out of you got some warrants”

So there I am, pissed off about my wife leaving me for this navy fucker, pissed off that I couldn’t run, now i am in handcuffs, which just sets me off to all new kinds of levels. And then he starts asking, 

“So what are you doing out here so late?”

“Who you running from?”

“just running, officer” I simply respond.

“You do know that the park is closed after 11, right?”

“You know I could give you a ticket for this, right?”

“i’m just trying to run, sir” I flatly answer again.

So as I am sitting by the cop car in handcuffs on the ground, it just finally fucking gets to me and I start tearing up, tears of fucking frustration.

The officer, looks at me and asks again, “why you out here running?”

“FUCK, MAN. I’m going threw a real nasty divorce and all I want to do is fucking run”

Now we were at a very raw moment, I let him know just exactly what I was doing and why I was out there. I spoke my truth and then he spoke his…

“I see you’re going through some things, so I am not going to issue you a citation for being at the park after hours. But you do have to leave. So why don’t you go and drink your problem away like the rest of us”

…..

THIS!!!!!!

THIS IS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH US!!!

NO FUCKING COMPASSION, NO COMMUNITICATION, NO SYMPATHY.

“Kanye shrug, bitch, welcome to the west” ~ The Game 

92 Bars

We are all out here just guns a blazin. 

No questions or any thoughts for one another. 

Kill’em all and let God sort them out.

It’s the “fuck me?? WELL MOTHER FUCK YOU” approach.  

Now after some years of growing up and become a bit wiser, I see where, I was in a bad spot looking like I was doing some bad thing. But the fact of the matter isn’t that the officer had to treat me more polite or talk to me with more respect or anything. It’s that, he had an opportunity to TEACH a young, hurt and misguided man. He had the chance to offer some real advice or some coaching or fuck, even to take a run with me. 

We as a society placed a certain amount of trust into this individual to be a better person than most, but, what actual training did he have in the area of the soul? Where is his quota of how many lessons he actually taught or how many souls did he actually reach?

He could’ve and most likely should’ve, offered me some real advice on a divorce if he had been through one, because that is what he was implying when he said, “go and drink your problem away like the rest of us”. He could’ve offered a fucking hug. He could’ve offered some real help instead of promoting the constant ignorance of the world into a raw and angered youth.

Again, here is the problem, what is wrong, the “gap”. THE FUCKING CIRCLE. 

He was possibly raised in a very aggressive and hyped up environment and then the way of our world makes even that much worst. Just go, go, go, shoot, shoot, shoot, bad, bad, bad. Not one glimpse of any stop sign, so he runs up on me very aggressive, very agitated and feeds my already worked up and agitated vibe and ora, then I go out into the world and feed that to someone else and so on and so on.

It never fucking ends.

So this brings me to what I touched on in the very beginning… mediation.

Why aren’t we being taught this in school? Why isn’t this technique being commercialized the way any of your favorite fast food chains are being promoted?

Why aren’t we realizing that this 5 to 10 minute pitstop from the break neck speed in our daily lives to clear our mind, will ultimately put us on a hyperdrive type speed with our soul to a true sense of peace?

“For fast acting relief, try slowing down”  ~ Lily Tomlin

Speaking from a true rebels heart and soul, it is fucking great to stand up and say, “fuck the police”. Its feels so exhilarating to stand up and smoke a god damn cigarette in the middle of this cooperate cathedral filled with all these cookie cut mother fuckers. 

But at some point you have to realize that, you are nothing more than a rebel without a cause, you are nothing more than just another cog in the wheel. You are the bad guy that the system needs to function.

Where the fuck is the fun in that?

We need to see that the system has put us against one another just to profit from our bickering and fighting with each other.

They got us all hyped up on sex crazed sugar highs going 1000 miles a minute with egos of monsters proportion, feeling oppressed and pissed off at the world and who better to take that anger out on???

The ones that we gave the authority to protect and serve us.

And truth be told, they are feeling the same fucking way, we just gave them some power and you know god damn well, just like I fucking know, that if you or I had that same amount of power, that, that shit would go to our heads too. 

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But again, at the end of the day, they are just like us, in this fucked up system, with moms and dads, with spouses and children, bills and goals and all the same shit that we go through too. They are just flying that much closer to the machine that is this fucked up system.

So.

Speaking from a true rebellious soul, what better way to rebel and scream, “fuck you” than to slamming the breaks on the fucking wheel? Slamming the breaks so fucking hard that we flip this entire shit upside down and starting from them bottom.

This isn’t a whole global problem, or a national problem, or a community problem. This problem is so much fucking closer and bigger than that, this is a problem with our souls. And our issue is that we are so caught up in this hamster wheel and just trying to keep up that we are neglecting what the fuck made us and who the fuck we are.

So how do we slow down and find our souls?

Meditation.

This isn’t a rant of what lives matter or how the man is holding us down, this is a rant on how we need some serious change in this world and that change all begins with one person at a time.

You.

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